Any thoughtful person who has been the caretaker of a child or children has sometimes puzzled over motivation, or as we sometimes say, “what makes them tick”.

In the classroom, a teacher gradually learns what works to establish an orderly environment —and what doesn’t work. The teacher recognizes a student with positive motivation and intellectual abilities from one who is unmotivated, troublesome, or intellectually impaired. But given the limited information that a teacher has, each child essentially remains a puzzle with most of the pieces missing.

We don’t know what the child’s senses have experienced and recorded in memory — what he has heard, smelled, tasted, touched and seen, and how he has interpreted these experiences. In the beginning and infant “is”. He experiences life as an extension of himself. As he grows older, he begins to see himself as a “person” comparable to other people. How he envisions himself, depends on what his senses tell him about other people’s reactions and responses to him. From this, he forms an inner picture that gives him hope, confidence and pleasure, or a picture that leaves him without hope, with discouragement, lack of self-esteem, self doubts, and sometimes anger.

Add to this mix, the child’s genetic makeup, his cultural background, socio-economic level, family history of mature parenting or immature parenting, drug abuse, mental illness, alcoholism, and so on, and we realize that each child is a puzzle with uncountable pieces.

One of the most devastating experiences to the child who is forming his self image is the infliction of abuse (physical or emotional) and neglect by his parents or guardians. The two most promising antidotes to child abuse and neglect — friendship and family training and nurturing.

These are subjects that need to be talked about because through discussion we form direction and impetus for positive action.